Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
