what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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