Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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