but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize