You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
