guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
