But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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