I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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