Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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