yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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