its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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