scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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