3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
