Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
