So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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