she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize