Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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