Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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