i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
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It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
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I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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