I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I need moral support for this bender
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
