Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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