No awkward lesbian experiences without me
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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