god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize