You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
