genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
