we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize