I'm drive I can fine osifer
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
