Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize