Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
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