after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
My liver just had a heart attack.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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