I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Randomize
