You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
