PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found the puke drawer
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
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