i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
