it hurts more in the daytime
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
