I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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