Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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