I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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