girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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