i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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