We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
