can we get nightvision for the apartment?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Randomize
