ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
