Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
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