The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Randomize
