I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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