I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
