the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
