Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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