She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Randomize
