Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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