she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
