2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
