I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
