She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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