Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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